I miss you so much...I would give anything just to spend one precious hour with you babes. As I sit here, I cannot help but wonder how things would have turned out for you. What you would be doing now. Its hard even to imagine what you would look like.
I dont really know what I want to say to you. I just feel so sad. The pain of losing you just never leaves me. Its like a really heavy weight sitting on my shoulders and weighing me down all the time. There isnt a second of the day that I am not thinking about you.
You are my whole world and now you are not here and it just hurts so much. I wish that I could see your beautiful smiling face. Even that is hard to imagine these days.
I'll never ever get over losing you sweetheart and I know that this is what I will have to bear for the rest of my life. I havent just lost my daughter, I've lost my best friend as well. I've lost the life I had and the life I was going to have. I've lost you and everything that comes with you.
I love and miss you so much and my heart is broken. I'm weary -grief is such a heavy burden to carry around. I feel tired and exhaused all the time. I feel like I've aged about 20 years - I look more like 62 and not 42!!
But...I will continue to fight for you and other teenagers who end up with this horrible, nasty, vile, evil illness. Leukaemia - doesnt sound too bad as a word but at the end of the day, it is CANCER. I remember those awful moments after they told us you had it and trying to make you feel like it wasnt CANCER...when all the time it was!!
I'm waiting for David to come back home from his holiday - he's been away for 3 weeks and I've really missed him....I know how hard all this has been on him. He hasnt just lost you, his sister, his best friend, his confidante, but he's also, in a way lost his Mom & Dad as well. I just hope that he's had a really good time and had time to switch off from it all.
Lots of love, hugs, kisses and cuggles....Mom xxx